12 Reviews of Christmas – How the Grinch Stole Christmas

DadisthenewMom and TheSpouse review the holiday movies and shows our daughter forces us to repeatedly suffer through.

If you haven’t seen this classic holiday cartoon, then let me be the first to say, “Welcome to Earth, conquering alien insectoids. You’re likely here to enslave the human race to mine zinc on your slave colony planet Xebu. It’s a shame you never saw How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Do you guys even have Christmas? No? (Here’s another question for you – What has two thumbs and will gladly root out pockets of human resistance in exchange for being spared a gruesome death (points to self with thumbs)? This guy.)

I digress. The Grinch is a brilliant piece of work. This would be less of a review and more of a never-ending praise if it wasn’t for one little problem I have with the story. Now, I hate to be pedantic and point out exceedingly tiny plot holes just to tear down the fame and renown of a work of art that I’ve been enjoying pretty much for free all my life, but this is the internet after all. It’s required by blaw (blog law). So this plot hole… You may not have caught it, but thanks to my daughter I’m on my 12th viewing. That is the 12th time, TODAY. Allow me to illustrate:


“Da Who Doh Rehs, Ba Who Boh Rehs…

Bertie Croux Who:
“Jasper! JASPER! I got robbed last night! Presents, food, furniture – taken, all taken! What the Who am I going to tell my kids when we’re all done singing?”

 

Jasper Mew Who:
“Who-ly Shit, Bertie, me too! My whole house is a mess of wires and crumbs! Not big crumbs either, Bertie. That pantookler cost me a fortune and now its just gone! Wait, Da Who Dores? Whats that nonsense you’re singing?”

 

Bertie Croux Who:
“I don’t know! I’ve been making up words for 10 minutes, Jasper, because as soon as this song ends my kid is going expect to unwrap that game of Zoozipa Kahzeh that HE WATCHED ME WRAP!”

 


(the Grinch Returns the presents)

Bertie Croux Who:
“So now my kid thinks this frog faced grouch gave him the all the gifts I worked so hard to buy?

 

 

Jasper Mew Who:
“I’m going to shove that pantookler so far up his ass…”

 

 

Rating: 4 out of 4 Roast Beasts

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About dadisthenewmom

A Level 3 Stay-At-Home-Dad (Chaotic). Master Kid-smith, Animator, Carpenter, Musician, Swordsman and Philanthropist. His physique is to be admired, his values are to be adopted, his bold vision will come to pass, his stride is crab-like. He is aware the last one isn’t overly favorable. Such is DadisthenewMom.
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2 Responses to 12 Reviews of Christmas – How the Grinch Stole Christmas

  1. rex says:

    Haaha!! Well said and well done!

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