DadisthenewMom and TheSpouse review the holiday movies and shows our daughter forces us to repeatedly suffer through.
Will Vinton’s A Claymation Christmas Celebration is a collection of beloved holiday carols acted out by a cast of plasticine camels, bells, elves, walruses, sand and raisins, each song introduced by a pair of mincing closeted homosexual dinosaurs arguing about the lyrics to Here We Come a Wassailing which is resolved by a horde of drunken Irish midgets driving an antique fire truck.
See? This guy GETS Christmas.
We Three Kings features three stuffy middle eastern stereotypes solemnly chanting their nonsense and are periodically interrupted by a trio of hip high-top wearing mo-town camels. How these smooth camels got passed over as spokesmen for tobacco products I don’t know, but I would rush out to purchase this ‘guiding light’ they’re crooning about if I knew where to get it. Man, they’re so damn cool…
The Carol of the Bells is a high-class symphony of anthropomorphic bells conducted by Quasimodo. I love this one. It was on TV a total of one time in my childhood yet I recall it with photographic vividness and can point to it as one of a handful of cartoons that made me pursue a career in animation. There is so much expression and character packed into each wad of lifeless clay that it must have been accomplished with the darkest of forbidden magic – a foul voodoo employed in zombie resurrections and unspeakable curses that opens a portal to the neither realm upon its utterance. That or Christmas Spirit.
The show closes with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer performed by the California Raisins. I never knew what to make of those guys. Of all of Will Vinton’s claymation creations I much preferred the Noid, although he is to be avoided.
Sounds a lot like I’m a fan of this one, doesn’t it? I was. I went to great lengths to track it down and share it with my daughter. The Child loved it and I was warmed by the joy she had in watching it. Then she asked to see it again. And again. And again and again and againandagainandagain. I get it, camels are hip, the goofy bell is a bad musician, the raisins… sing I guess… The real magic in this one was in its scarcity. Back in the pre-internet era (P.I.E.) something like this would creep into your life and re arrange your worldview. I recommend you watch it once, then destroy your TV. Failure to do so might result in unnecessarily thinking about the California Raisins.
What was the deal with those guys…?