DadisthenewMom and TheSpouse review the holiday movies and shows our daughter forces us to repeatedly suffer through.
He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special is the classic holiday tale of a bumbling wizard monster from a medieval future planet who inadvertently kidnaps two Earth children, repeatedly places them in mortal peril and unwittingly delivers them to a pair of skeleton monsters who work for a gas monster who is defeated by a race of robot monsters. He-Man and She-Ra fight yet another different group of robot monsters in a brief break from giving each other almost non-stop “good hustle” ass slaps. Skeletor learns about the meaning of Christmas just before murdering two Earth children but ultimately spares their lives, then pets a robot dog.
I cannot stress enough how brilliant this cartoon is.
I watched the He-Man cartoons in my youth and I’m happy to report to fans of the original series that the 1.4 seconds of animation where He-Man runs from the middle of the frame to the lower left is still as glorious as ever. No joking, that was a solid 20 or so frames of good fluid animation. The creators of the holiday special must agree with me since this is what he does every time he is on screen. We didn’t get She-Ra in my home town so I’m not well-versed in her back story and mythology but if her super powers are mounting/unmounting her horse/pegasus and not using a sword then she is just as magical as ever. At one point she turns her sword into rope in order to trip a monster. I thought this odd until He-Man threw his sword on the ground and punched a robot. I chalked this behavior up to “Christmas Spirit.”
Not only did I learn about space monsters and the Christmas Spirit, but I learned that He-man and She-Ra were twins! Not dating, just twins. It was the “not using a sword” aspect of both He-Man and She-Ra that really convinces you that they’re just twins, and trust me, you will need a lot of convincing. The two hold each other in a passionate embrace under the mistletoe and just before they kiss He-Man jovially shouts, “THIS IS MY SISTER!” in his echoing ‘power of Greyskull’ voice. She-Ra smacks his ass not once but twice before he runs to the lower left and she doesn’t use her sword. Whoever wrote this animated monstrosity either consumes or pens a fair amount of very specific poorly xeroxed newsletters. Still, ’tis the season, so I let it go. Christmas Spirit again.
All in all, He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special is bad, but not “unwatchable” bad. The lackluster writing, the nonsensical plot and the badly reused animation should combine to take this pile of crap all the way to steaming pile of crap but it ends up being kinda fun. Between kind-hearted skeleton aliens and all the plot holes I was glossing over, there was a lot of Christmas Spirit flying around. Mission accomplished, Christmas Special. Give it a watch. Space freaks that discover Christmas? I don’t care how poorly executed it is, that’s a ride you want to ride.