I’ve had a long day chauffeuring and playing and running errands. During the drive to bring The Spouse home from work, The Child is singing about making sure “all the singing ladies,” “have a ring on it,” as loud as she can. The entirety of the ride home is spent with her trying to get one of us to answer to the name “baby cheetah.” This turns out to be somehow louder than the inappropriate song-singing. Zero productive communication is happening between The Spouse and I the whole time and not two minutes after the arrival at our home The Spouse and I are interrupted by a naked child shouting “dad dad dad DAD DAD DAD DAD DAAAAAAAAAA”
“HEY! Your mother and I are talking! It is rude to interrupt us like that. You say ‘excuse me’ and wait for us to acknowledge you. Now sit on my lap quietly and wait for us to finish.”
And it works! The business of the family is discussed by the two leading heads of family and The Child sits quietly though it all. My kid listened! I’m like a horse whisperer but for children, the child-horse-whisperer, plus I shouted a bit, so child-horse-shouter if you will. Oh man, a 3-year-old listened to me, I’m gonna gloat about this. Where is that blog of mine?
“Thank you for being so patient, good girl, what is it you wanted to tell me?”
“Dad I pooped and made a mess and didn’t wipe” said the naked child sitting on my lap.