The Spy Who Hugged Me

People will often say something along the lines of “it takes a village” to raise a child. I agree, but sometimes it’s entertaining to hear childless people say it. These people aren’t aware that a percentage of their own precious time would be eaten up by the raising of said children in such a parenting utopia. If you point this out to them, those people will often amend the analogy to read more along the lines of, “it takes some other village to raise a child, you know, everyone still helping out and all, but not me, just people with kids. Yeah, a village of people with kids helping each other that is situated an uncrossable distance away from Party Village, where Mayor Xbox has decreed today to be Topless Tuesday.”

Sometimes I miss Mayor Xbox…

Don’t get me wrong. It was my decision to have a kid and it was my good fortune to get the best one. The “it takes a village” line is accurate but I don’t expect the childless to help out anymore than they expect me to get spray on tans or faux hawks on their behalf (or spray on faux hawks, is that a thing yet?).

I’m a great dad and I’m able to stay as awesome as I am because I periodically abandon my child with other parents. The Deal is this: You watch all the kids for the morning, I’ll watch all the kids for the afternoon. It’s not a huge commitment but nor is it a weekend vacation. The Deal is just enough of an offset of your regular day to allow all the little 5-10 minute bursts of free time you usually get to congeal into a few usable hours.

A few minutes ago I  picked up The Child and The Boy for the afternoon shift and on the ride home the kids were playing “I Spy”. I love to listen to what amounts to the 3 year old version of cryptography:

“I spy something… shoe.”

“I spy something… green-its-a-tree-trees-are-green. Give up? A TREE!”

They played like this for a couple miutes until The Child said, “I spy…” and fell into silence. I asked her what it was that she spied and she told me, “I just spy in general, everything happening in the world”. The boy said, “Me too, I spy everything too. It makes you think.”

And it did.

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About dadisthenewmom

A Level 3 Stay-At-Home-Dad (Chaotic). Master Kid-smith, Animator, Carpenter, Musician, Swordsman and Philanthropist. His physique is to be admired, his values are to be adopted, his bold vision will come to pass, his stride is crab-like. He is aware the last one isn’t overly favorable. Such is DadisthenewMom.
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