DadisthenewMom Reviews: A Nonsense Ballad For Sick Child In Various Keys
Go to sleep, go to sleep,
Please stop coughing for a second,
Oh my little little bun,
Crying is making it worse,
How about some TV?
Oh, I know, it’s bad, baby,
Please stop scratching my face, Child,
That’s not helping… Well, mom isn’t here right now…
No candy, sweetie, you’re sick,
Baby, baby, baby, baby,
Fall asleep, I have to pee
Please fall asleep, I have to pee
DadisthenewMom has just released his latest studio work, Nonsense Song For Sick Child In Various Keys. For the past two years DadisthenewMom has delighted kids with his renditions of both classic children’s songs and his own whimsical creations. At a special private concert for The Child held on the couch last week, DadisthenewMom premiered his latest work.
The song is simply not good. I can’t help thinking he made it up on the fly and recorded it in one take. How long is DadisthenewMom going to rest on his laurels from early hits like Donut Salad and Scrubbing Yo Buns (Like A Bunch of Biscuits)? This track was hastily thrown together. His lyrical structure is a drastic departure from any known poetic format and his melodic style could be described as “guessin’.” His vocal performance, and I hesitate to call it a performance, could be reproduced by recording a very gassy pig eating a pumpkin. Various keys? It is my understanding that one must hit at least one note to define a key. If DadisthenewMom’s disjointed atonal mumbling is speaks to anyone I can only assume it is saying, “Go listen to something else.”
While it pains me to call it music, there is no denying the reaction from DadisthenewMom’s fan base. “More Dad, I want more.”